Whether to limit the time that a child plays video games is a question that almost every parent has battled over at least once and often many times. However, just because one parent has a specific opinion about it does not mean that another parent holds the same opinion. In other words, whether a parent should limit his or her childs time playing video games is a largely subjective, opinion question. There are, though, some signs that a parent should look for when trying to make a determination as to whether the time that his or her kid is spending on video games is too much.
If a kid who is playing video games is paying so much attention to them that his or her schoolwork is suffering, a parent might want to limit the video game time that child has. In addition, if relationships are suffering because of video games, this might also be another reason to limit the amount of time spent playing them. Video games are supposed to be for fun and enjoyment only. Unfortunately, they can actually become addictive. When someone is addicted to video games, the rest of that persons life suffers. He or she will generally not do well at all with school or work, and the relationships that have been built with others will be ignored, at least to some extent.
The person may also lose sleep, not eat well, and exhibit other behaviors consistent with focusing too much on video games and not enough on reality. This is, of course, very detrimental, especially for a child who is just developing habits. Because this is such a serious issue and can lead to many problems in the future, any parent who is concerned about how much time his or her kid is spending playing video games or any parent who sees a change in his or her child because of video game playing should limit the time each day that the child is allowed to play the video game.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Eight Tips for Improving Communication with Your Kids
Are you content in the thought that your communication with your kids is spot on, or do you worry that you might be missing the mark? If your interface is overwrought with emotion, you might need these tips to gain a more peaceful relationship with your children. I experienced wonderful things with my daughters when I used these eight tips.
Be Your Word.
Everything you say to your children is a promise or an agreement. Do what you say you're going to do and you build trust. Trust carries you through when they're sixteen years old, driving around with their friends and you don't know what they're doing.
There was a recent article about the Florida football team which was about to go into the National Championship game against the Ohio State Buckeyes. Florida had a new coach named Urban Meyer. Everyone agreed he had turned the program around. Their season had dramatically improved, even though they essentially had the same talent and schedule. So what was the difference?
To a man, they all emphasize the fact that the new coach had built a greater sense of trust among the players and coaches. They discussed some of his techniques. There were things like practices at midnight and certain competitions he had dreamed up. The important point was he had created a high level of trust.
Your children will be tempted, and since you won't be there looking over their shoulder, you have to instill character in them. The first step in instilling character is that they see character in you. You are their role model.
Be 100% Responsible
Having integrity means being 100% responsible for everything in your life. It means giving up your reasons and your excuses. Every truly successful person I know lives their life as though they are 100% responsible for everything in their life.
At first blush, many people think this is ridiculous or unrealistic. Other people get the concept but they don't really live it. This may at first sound like a burden; in reality it's a freedom.
When you really get that you are 100% responsible for everything in your life, it's a tremendously freeing experience. It allows you to create your life. This idea isn't just some quotation you can read and pooh pooh. It's real. Think about it: if you're not responsible, if you don't have control over your own life, then you're just a victim and whatever makes you unhappy will always make you unhappy because you can't change it, get rid of it. I know you can see this truth.
Be Genuine
This means being straightforward in your communications and take what you get. This means don't use force or manipulation as a way of trying to get what you want. We know that we can't control other people. When you really understand that and accept it, you'll stop trying to manipulate or force others into achieving the results that you want. Force and manipulation will, at best, only get you a temporary result. Human beings always resist force and manipulation. Force and manipulation are really a product of fear.
When my children were young and they told their mom they wanted to live with Dad all the time, her response was to tell them that if they did that she would disown them. Obviously, I knew she wouldn't disown them and I told them that. But she got what she wanted temporarily. They went back to live with her for a month. But in short order, they realized Mom wasn't really going to leave them and then they moved into my house permanently.
Be Free
Learn to give up being right. How many times have we used that as justification for our actions?
When I say give up being right, I'm not saying forget about the concept of right and wrong. It's incredibly important to teach your children the difference between right and wrong. Giving up being right really relates to the whole idea of control. More specifically, it deals with the fact that you don't control anyone else. If you're having an argument with your ex or you're mad at them because you're right and they're wrong, this has nothing to do with making them right and you wrong. It has nothing to do with forgetting about right and wrong. It doesn't meant that you have to give in to the. I just means you aren't going to convince them that you're right. It just means, let it go. Again, think long term. Think what will be effective and what your kids are seeing as you interface with your ex.
Be Courageous
Always deal with issues with your children head-on. My daughters told me throughout high school that their friends were always amazed at all the things they could talk to me about. My daughters would tell me "My girlfriends are amazed about the things I tell you." Of course, I was forced into this because there was no mom around. The result is that my kids can talk to me about anything - sex, drugs, rock-n-roll. However, our goal here is to raise these children so they become productive and healthy young adults.
When you communicate clearly and openly with your children and develop trust they will come to you with the important issues in their life. Be their guide. You are their anchor. You want them talking to you, not their friends.
Be Peaceful
This comes back to being accepting about what you're really trying to achieve. Don't take the easy way out. Develop an early warning system. What are the things in your relationship with your children that irritate, aggravate or anger you? Think about what it is that really angers you.
Whatever you think it is, it really isn't that. Now you think I'm talking nonsense. Let me give you an example. When my daughters were in high school I used to get really aggravated when they would leave the bathroom a mess. Typically, they would spend hours in the bathroom, doing what girls do, so that they could leave and be beautiful and get to that party. They would make a half-hearted attempt to clean up the bathroom and boom, they were out the door. I'd go upstairs, take one look at the bathroom and become angry because the sink was a mess and the towels were just lying on the floor.
On its face, I was angry because they left the bathroom a mess. When I really analyzed it, I knew I was mad at myself because I was failing as a parent to modify their behavior. That's what I mean when I say, look at whatever it is that upsets you and whatever you think it is, it's not really that.
Be Powerful
Don't be cynical; be inspiring. Act in a way that they are touched and that you make a difference in their lives. A last work about complete ownership: I've repeatedly talked about being responsible in your life. Successful parents are responsible. Responsibility in this context is not a burden. It's not something you have to do, like pay the bills. It's not about fault or blame. It's not about guilt of shame. It's not about getting credit. It isn't all about your ability to understand things or to say if a thing is moral or ethical. It's not about what's good or bad.
Being responsible means being wiling to deal with a situation in your life from the view that you are the creator of your life and of what you do. No one makes you responsible and you don't make anyone else responsible. It's a gift you give yourself.
Pass this lesson on to your children. Teach them to be responsible for themselves. Again, not a burden - acknowledge that they determine the consequences of their lives.
Take Nothing Personally
In all of your relationships, in all of your communications, take nothing personally. Observe the world around you. Notice how often people get offended. Look for it. As an experiment, see how many times you can notice someone being offended in a single day. The more you observe it as an outsider, the more comical it becomes. People act like little kids.
Don't be like everyone else. Step back and be an observer. Watch how people interact with each other. You'll find it humorous. The more you observe it in other people, the more humorous it is, the funnier it becomes, and the more quickly you'll realize when you're doing it, you'll be able to stop.
If you want your children to turn out great, your success in parenting and your communication with your kids will both benefit from using these tips.
Be Your Word.
Everything you say to your children is a promise or an agreement. Do what you say you're going to do and you build trust. Trust carries you through when they're sixteen years old, driving around with their friends and you don't know what they're doing.
There was a recent article about the Florida football team which was about to go into the National Championship game against the Ohio State Buckeyes. Florida had a new coach named Urban Meyer. Everyone agreed he had turned the program around. Their season had dramatically improved, even though they essentially had the same talent and schedule. So what was the difference?
To a man, they all emphasize the fact that the new coach had built a greater sense of trust among the players and coaches. They discussed some of his techniques. There were things like practices at midnight and certain competitions he had dreamed up. The important point was he had created a high level of trust.
Your children will be tempted, and since you won't be there looking over their shoulder, you have to instill character in them. The first step in instilling character is that they see character in you. You are their role model.
Be 100% Responsible
Having integrity means being 100% responsible for everything in your life. It means giving up your reasons and your excuses. Every truly successful person I know lives their life as though they are 100% responsible for everything in their life.
At first blush, many people think this is ridiculous or unrealistic. Other people get the concept but they don't really live it. This may at first sound like a burden; in reality it's a freedom.
When you really get that you are 100% responsible for everything in your life, it's a tremendously freeing experience. It allows you to create your life. This idea isn't just some quotation you can read and pooh pooh. It's real. Think about it: if you're not responsible, if you don't have control over your own life, then you're just a victim and whatever makes you unhappy will always make you unhappy because you can't change it, get rid of it. I know you can see this truth.
Be Genuine
This means being straightforward in your communications and take what you get. This means don't use force or manipulation as a way of trying to get what you want. We know that we can't control other people. When you really understand that and accept it, you'll stop trying to manipulate or force others into achieving the results that you want. Force and manipulation will, at best, only get you a temporary result. Human beings always resist force and manipulation. Force and manipulation are really a product of fear.
When my children were young and they told their mom they wanted to live with Dad all the time, her response was to tell them that if they did that she would disown them. Obviously, I knew she wouldn't disown them and I told them that. But she got what she wanted temporarily. They went back to live with her for a month. But in short order, they realized Mom wasn't really going to leave them and then they moved into my house permanently.
Be Free
Learn to give up being right. How many times have we used that as justification for our actions?
When I say give up being right, I'm not saying forget about the concept of right and wrong. It's incredibly important to teach your children the difference between right and wrong. Giving up being right really relates to the whole idea of control. More specifically, it deals with the fact that you don't control anyone else. If you're having an argument with your ex or you're mad at them because you're right and they're wrong, this has nothing to do with making them right and you wrong. It has nothing to do with forgetting about right and wrong. It doesn't meant that you have to give in to the. I just means you aren't going to convince them that you're right. It just means, let it go. Again, think long term. Think what will be effective and what your kids are seeing as you interface with your ex.
Be Courageous
Always deal with issues with your children head-on. My daughters told me throughout high school that their friends were always amazed at all the things they could talk to me about. My daughters would tell me "My girlfriends are amazed about the things I tell you." Of course, I was forced into this because there was no mom around. The result is that my kids can talk to me about anything - sex, drugs, rock-n-roll. However, our goal here is to raise these children so they become productive and healthy young adults.
When you communicate clearly and openly with your children and develop trust they will come to you with the important issues in their life. Be their guide. You are their anchor. You want them talking to you, not their friends.
Be Peaceful
This comes back to being accepting about what you're really trying to achieve. Don't take the easy way out. Develop an early warning system. What are the things in your relationship with your children that irritate, aggravate or anger you? Think about what it is that really angers you.
Whatever you think it is, it really isn't that. Now you think I'm talking nonsense. Let me give you an example. When my daughters were in high school I used to get really aggravated when they would leave the bathroom a mess. Typically, they would spend hours in the bathroom, doing what girls do, so that they could leave and be beautiful and get to that party. They would make a half-hearted attempt to clean up the bathroom and boom, they were out the door. I'd go upstairs, take one look at the bathroom and become angry because the sink was a mess and the towels were just lying on the floor.
On its face, I was angry because they left the bathroom a mess. When I really analyzed it, I knew I was mad at myself because I was failing as a parent to modify their behavior. That's what I mean when I say, look at whatever it is that upsets you and whatever you think it is, it's not really that.
Be Powerful
Don't be cynical; be inspiring. Act in a way that they are touched and that you make a difference in their lives. A last work about complete ownership: I've repeatedly talked about being responsible in your life. Successful parents are responsible. Responsibility in this context is not a burden. It's not something you have to do, like pay the bills. It's not about fault or blame. It's not about guilt of shame. It's not about getting credit. It isn't all about your ability to understand things or to say if a thing is moral or ethical. It's not about what's good or bad.
Being responsible means being wiling to deal with a situation in your life from the view that you are the creator of your life and of what you do. No one makes you responsible and you don't make anyone else responsible. It's a gift you give yourself.
Pass this lesson on to your children. Teach them to be responsible for themselves. Again, not a burden - acknowledge that they determine the consequences of their lives.
Take Nothing Personally
In all of your relationships, in all of your communications, take nothing personally. Observe the world around you. Notice how often people get offended. Look for it. As an experiment, see how many times you can notice someone being offended in a single day. The more you observe it as an outsider, the more comical it becomes. People act like little kids.
Don't be like everyone else. Step back and be an observer. Watch how people interact with each other. You'll find it humorous. The more you observe it in other people, the more humorous it is, the funnier it becomes, and the more quickly you'll realize when you're doing it, you'll be able to stop.
If you want your children to turn out great, your success in parenting and your communication with your kids will both benefit from using these tips.
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
After 25 Years, Academic Summer Camps Now a Mainstream Choice for Many Parents
SuperCamp, the original Academic and Life Skills summer camp that launched in 1982 with 64 students is poised to enroll its 50,000th student in 2008.
SuperCamp, which broke new ground in the summer camp industry in 1982 with the first learning and life skills program for middle and high school students, is about to pass the 50,000 enrollment mark, reflecting both SuperCamp’s success and how more parents are turning to academic camps for summer enrichment.
When SuperCamp co-founder, Bobbi DePorter, held that first camp in Lake Tahoe 26 years ago, most parents wanted a traditional camp that would keep their children busy for a week or two during summer vacation.
“We were not interested in starting a summer babysitting service,” says DePorter. “Our goal from day one was to help make great kids greater. Over the years, as the pressure to excel in school and to get into the best colleges has increased, more and more parents have turned to SuperCamp to give their children every opportunity for success.”
SuperCamp remains unique in that it deals with the whole person, providing practical learning skills while developing the life skills of the teenage and pre-teen campers. The camp helps students get past barriers that hold them back by using metaphors such as board breaking and a ropes course, emphasizing positive peer support and carefully orchestrating many mini-successes for each camper.
As a result, most SuperCamp graduates return to their homes and schools empowered with a new sense of confidence, more motivated, and armed with an array of learning, study and test-taking skills. As one 2007 graduate says, “SuperCamp teaches great life skills and opens doors I didn’t even know had handles!”
Parents, aware of the fleeting value of traditional summer camps, see SuperCamp as an investment that pays lasting dividends. “SuperCamp was probably the single best investment we made in our daughter’s future,” stated Alice Keppler. “She feels so good about herself. Every time she remarks how her grades have improved, we remind her that this is a gift she gave to herself.”
SuperCamp offers four grade-specific programs for boys and girls from age 9 to 19, all the way up to a college boot camp for incoming college freshmen called Quantum U. The residential camps are held on eight college campuses in the U.S., including Stanford and Cornell, with the campers living in dorms for the duration of the 7- to 10-day camps.
SuperCamp has added a significant international presence over the years with programs now operating throughout Asia, in Latin America and in Europe. Additionally, over 30,000 teachers have been trained in the same Quantum Learning methods developed by Ms. DePorter and her associates for SuperCamp.
SuperCamp, which broke new ground in the summer camp industry in 1982 with the first learning and life skills program for middle and high school students, is about to pass the 50,000 enrollment mark, reflecting both SuperCamp’s success and how more parents are turning to academic camps for summer enrichment.
When SuperCamp co-founder, Bobbi DePorter, held that first camp in Lake Tahoe 26 years ago, most parents wanted a traditional camp that would keep their children busy for a week or two during summer vacation.
“We were not interested in starting a summer babysitting service,” says DePorter. “Our goal from day one was to help make great kids greater. Over the years, as the pressure to excel in school and to get into the best colleges has increased, more and more parents have turned to SuperCamp to give their children every opportunity for success.”
SuperCamp remains unique in that it deals with the whole person, providing practical learning skills while developing the life skills of the teenage and pre-teen campers. The camp helps students get past barriers that hold them back by using metaphors such as board breaking and a ropes course, emphasizing positive peer support and carefully orchestrating many mini-successes for each camper.
As a result, most SuperCamp graduates return to their homes and schools empowered with a new sense of confidence, more motivated, and armed with an array of learning, study and test-taking skills. As one 2007 graduate says, “SuperCamp teaches great life skills and opens doors I didn’t even know had handles!”
Parents, aware of the fleeting value of traditional summer camps, see SuperCamp as an investment that pays lasting dividends. “SuperCamp was probably the single best investment we made in our daughter’s future,” stated Alice Keppler. “She feels so good about herself. Every time she remarks how her grades have improved, we remind her that this is a gift she gave to herself.”
SuperCamp offers four grade-specific programs for boys and girls from age 9 to 19, all the way up to a college boot camp for incoming college freshmen called Quantum U. The residential camps are held on eight college campuses in the U.S., including Stanford and Cornell, with the campers living in dorms for the duration of the 7- to 10-day camps.
SuperCamp has added a significant international presence over the years with programs now operating throughout Asia, in Latin America and in Europe. Additionally, over 30,000 teachers have been trained in the same Quantum Learning methods developed by Ms. DePorter and her associates for SuperCamp.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Teens Learn Communication Skills From Summer Camp
At Quantum Learning Network we use some powerful tools for achieving clear, constructive communication and teach these tools in all our academic summer camps, SuperCamp and Quantum U, and our many school programs. Communication is the key to positive, meaningful relationships in all areas of our lives—home, school, college, and career. Wherever we are in life, the ability to relate to others and communicate clearly gives us an added advantage.
One of our most useful communication tools is called Open the Front Door, or OTFD, which stands for Observation, Thought, Feeling, and Desire. This positive approach to communicating in uneasy situations opens a path for discussing disagreements, clearing up miscommunication, and creating solutions.
It's hard to communicate negative feelings without slipping into negative patterns such as laying blame, attacking, accusing, or insulting. But these approaches never accomplish anything positive. The only power they have is to damage, confuse, wound feelings, and inspire the other person to respond in a similar tone. But if we use a positive approach, even in a tense atmosphere, we have a chance to forge a bond of communication.
OTFD: Open the Front Door
OTFD is particularly good for communicating negative feelings, but it can be used in almost any situation, with almost anyone. This method communicates four vital pieces of information: Observation, Thought, Feeling, and Desire.
O - Observation is simply stating the facts of the situation, something you observed that anyone else could observe.
Example: I noticed that everyone left the meeting without helping to clean up and put the furniture back. (Not, I noticed you were inconsiderate.)
T - Thought is an opinion or thought about what you observed.
Example: I think that people are assuming I am responsible for cleaning up because I am the instructor.
F - Feeling is how you felt about what you observed.
Example: I feel frustrated because I have work to get back to just like everyone else.
D - Desire is what you want for the future.
Example: I would like us to take turns setting up and breaking down for the meetings.
Following these four steps tells the other person precisely what they need to know in order to understand the situation you're speaking about. Often, you’ll find when you finish communicating this way, the person you’re talking to will agree: “Yes, I see why you feel this way.” Compare this to what happens when you try to express an upset through blame, shame, judgment, or ridicule, and you’ll see the power in this tool.
SuperCamp summer programs fill up fast. Parents, go to http://www.SuperCamp.com now to learn about enrolling your son or daughter while space remains. Age-specific programs are available for students in grades 4-12 and incoming college freshmen. At the website, you also can get a free eBook that gives you an inside look at what works with teens from a world leader in youth achievement, SuperCamp co-founder Bobbi DePorter.
One of our most useful communication tools is called Open the Front Door, or OTFD, which stands for Observation, Thought, Feeling, and Desire. This positive approach to communicating in uneasy situations opens a path for discussing disagreements, clearing up miscommunication, and creating solutions.
It's hard to communicate negative feelings without slipping into negative patterns such as laying blame, attacking, accusing, or insulting. But these approaches never accomplish anything positive. The only power they have is to damage, confuse, wound feelings, and inspire the other person to respond in a similar tone. But if we use a positive approach, even in a tense atmosphere, we have a chance to forge a bond of communication.
OTFD: Open the Front Door
OTFD is particularly good for communicating negative feelings, but it can be used in almost any situation, with almost anyone. This method communicates four vital pieces of information: Observation, Thought, Feeling, and Desire.
O - Observation is simply stating the facts of the situation, something you observed that anyone else could observe.
Example: I noticed that everyone left the meeting without helping to clean up and put the furniture back. (Not, I noticed you were inconsiderate.)
T - Thought is an opinion or thought about what you observed.
Example: I think that people are assuming I am responsible for cleaning up because I am the instructor.
F - Feeling is how you felt about what you observed.
Example: I feel frustrated because I have work to get back to just like everyone else.
D - Desire is what you want for the future.
Example: I would like us to take turns setting up and breaking down for the meetings.
Following these four steps tells the other person precisely what they need to know in order to understand the situation you're speaking about. Often, you’ll find when you finish communicating this way, the person you’re talking to will agree: “Yes, I see why you feel this way.” Compare this to what happens when you try to express an upset through blame, shame, judgment, or ridicule, and you’ll see the power in this tool.
SuperCamp summer programs fill up fast. Parents, go to http://www.SuperCamp.com now to learn about enrolling your son or daughter while space remains. Age-specific programs are available for students in grades 4-12 and incoming college freshmen. At the website, you also can get a free eBook that gives you an inside look at what works with teens from a world leader in youth achievement, SuperCamp co-founder Bobbi DePorter.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
JUST WORDS … or defining qualities?
Confidence, curiosity, hope … just words? What about safety, trust, wonder? More words. But what important words they are when they’re part of us … or more important still when they’re part of our children.
What if all children had all these qualities living inside of them? Let’s have a look at how defining these and other similar qualities can be – and what a difference it makes when they are an integral part of our children.
Acceptance: the quality of being accepted; approval
A child who feels accepted: gains confidence, sense of belonging
A child who does not feel accepted: feels alone, sad
Attitude: a manner of acting, feeling or thinking that reflects one's disposition, opinion, etc.
Child with positive attitude: open to ideas, ready, willing
Child with negative attitude: uncreative, negative, lonely
Confidence: a feeling of assurance, especially of self-assurance; belief in one's own abilities
Child with confidence: accomplishes great things, stands out in a crowd
Child without confidence: meek, afraid to try
Curiosity: a desire to know or learn
Child with curiosity: learns something new, discovers answers
Child without curiosity: does not search for understanding, does not seek to learn
Determination: firmness of purpose; resolve
Child with determination: sense of purpose, drive to accomplish
Child without determination: weak, lack of drive, hopeless
Hope: a wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment
Child with hope: eyes wide open, ready for good to happen, dreams
Child without hope: downhearted, discouraged
Safety: the condition of being safe; freedom from hurt, injury, or loss
Child who feels safe: open to trying anything, asking anything, free to be himself
Child who does not feel safe: self-conscious, embarrassed, closed off
Trust: firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing
Child who has trust: develops relationships, able to move forward in life
Child who does not have trust: shuts out the world, afraid to get hurt, vulnerable
Wonder: the emotion aroused by something awe-inspiring, astounding, or marvelous
Child with wonder: desire to learn and discover, excited about life
Child without wonder: lack of ambition, limited interest in learning
What if all children had all these qualities living inside of them? Let’s have a look at how defining these and other similar qualities can be – and what a difference it makes when they are an integral part of our children.
Acceptance: the quality of being accepted; approval
A child who feels accepted: gains confidence, sense of belonging
A child who does not feel accepted: feels alone, sad
Attitude: a manner of acting, feeling or thinking that reflects one's disposition, opinion, etc.
Child with positive attitude: open to ideas, ready, willing
Child with negative attitude: uncreative, negative, lonely
Confidence: a feeling of assurance, especially of self-assurance; belief in one's own abilities
Child with confidence: accomplishes great things, stands out in a crowd
Child without confidence: meek, afraid to try
Curiosity: a desire to know or learn
Child with curiosity: learns something new, discovers answers
Child without curiosity: does not search for understanding, does not seek to learn
Determination: firmness of purpose; resolve
Child with determination: sense of purpose, drive to accomplish
Child without determination: weak, lack of drive, hopeless
Hope: a wish or desire accompanied by confident expectation of its fulfillment
Child with hope: eyes wide open, ready for good to happen, dreams
Child without hope: downhearted, discouraged
Safety: the condition of being safe; freedom from hurt, injury, or loss
Child who feels safe: open to trying anything, asking anything, free to be himself
Child who does not feel safe: self-conscious, embarrassed, closed off
Trust: firm reliance on the integrity, ability, or character of a person or thing
Child who has trust: develops relationships, able to move forward in life
Child who does not have trust: shuts out the world, afraid to get hurt, vulnerable
Wonder: the emotion aroused by something awe-inspiring, astounding, or marvelous
Child with wonder: desire to learn and discover, excited about life
Child without wonder: lack of ambition, limited interest in learning
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Summer Camp Tells Kids How To Keep Balance In Their
At SuperCamp, the learning and life skills summer camps for students in grades 4 through 12, kids learn about the 8 Keys of Excellence. SuperCamp co-founder, Bobbi DePorter, has lived the 8 Keys for more than 25 years. They are principles of behavior that inspire people to try great things—and succeed. These Keys have the power to constantly propel you forward and to help bring purpose, meaning and fulfillment to your life and your work.
The first key is balance – living a fulfilled life by aligning your mind, body and spirit. You create balance in your life by apportioning your time according to your highest priorities.
What are the things that are most important to you? Family, friends, health, a talent you have, a cause you care about? Spending time on the things that are important to you brings a sense of balance. Staying in balance is an ongoing process that is affected by the choices you make every day. It brings a feeling of quiet peace you might not even notice.
Balance is a subtle, quiet Key
Balance is subtle. You may not always recognize it when it’s there, but you’ll feel its absence. Imbalance clanks loudly, like an out-of-tune piano. When you’re out of balance, you know it.
Keeping your balance is about bringing your life into alignment, recognizing when some part of your life doesn’t reflect your priorities, and rearranging your life in a way that creates an ongoing sense of peace and fulfillment. When you’re able to make time for what matters in your life, your life will be in balance, you will feel fulfilled, and you won't be plagued with a nagging sensation that some aspect of life is passing you by.
When she was in the process of developing the 8 Keys, Bobbi first tried to bring balance to her life by devoting equal time and energy to all the important aspects of her life. She made a pie chart and devoted equal slices to work, home, family, friends, charitable organizations, and so forth, and then set about trying to apportion her time to match the chart.
No matter how hard she tried to do strike a balance in her life that way, no matter how close she got to that goal, something still felt out of whack. Eventually, she came to realize that it wasn’t a matter of rigidly devoting equal time to everything that mattered to her, but of prioritizing and then finding the allotment of time and energy that created the greatest sense of fulfillment. That’s balance.
How to know when you’re out of balance
You may not recognize that you’re out of balance unless you take the time to step back and look at your life from a different perspective. And remember that the times we’re most in need of a new perspective are often the times when it’s most difficult to take that break.
1. Take a time-out—especially when you think you can least afford it
Sometimes when you’re going too fast in one or more areas of your life, you just have to call a time-out, just like a basketball coach whose team seems out of sync. Take your time out to do something fun and relaxing and make sure it’s a long enough break that it gives you a chance to evaluate how you’re spending your time and if aspects of your life might be out of balance.
Balance has little to do with the amount of time you spend in any area of your life. When you’re focused and excited about something, you can spend mega hours at it and feel fulfilled and balanced. So, don’t worry about whether you’re spending too much time at something. The secret to balance lies not in an allotment of time but in an awareness of your priorities.
2. Check your priorities daily
When you’re driving a car, you’re making constant small corrections. You’re steering, adjusting the gas, and braking almost automatically, but you are paying attention and constantly making corrections to accommodate changing situations along your route. Keeping your life in balance requires the same kind of ongoing correction process. Balance is about choices. When you’re keeping yourself in balance you’re making a thousand internal corrections each day. You’re constantly asking yourself, What do I value? What’s really important? Does this activity really need to be done now?
No matter how good you become at it, you won’t be in balance every moment of every day. Tune in to the signals your mind, spirit, and body send that warn you when you’re slipping out of balance. Compensate sooner rather than later. The quicker you realign yourself, the smaller the “wobble” you’ll have to correct.
The balance that comes from fulfillment acts as a lens. It clears the view to your dream. Balance and the big picture are self-reinforcing energies. Stay balanced, and you’ll be able to keep the big picture in sight—stay focused on the big picture, and you’ll see clearly the choices that will keep your balance.
Fulfillment creates balance—and balance creates fulfillment. Make choices that are consistent with what makes you feel fulfilled.
Use this Balance affirmation often: I give to the things that are important to me the amount of time that creates the greatest sense of fulfillment.
"The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness. It's the things you do
half-heartedly that really wear you out." —David Whyte
SuperCamp summer programs fill up fast. Parents, go to http://www.SuperCamp.com now to learn about enrolling your son or daughter while space remains. Age-specific programs are available for students in grades 4-12 and incoming college freshmen. At the website, you also can get a free eBook that gives you an inside look at what works with teens from a world leader in youth achievement, SuperCamp co-founder Bobbi DePorter.
The first key is balance – living a fulfilled life by aligning your mind, body and spirit. You create balance in your life by apportioning your time according to your highest priorities.
What are the things that are most important to you? Family, friends, health, a talent you have, a cause you care about? Spending time on the things that are important to you brings a sense of balance. Staying in balance is an ongoing process that is affected by the choices you make every day. It brings a feeling of quiet peace you might not even notice.
Balance is a subtle, quiet Key
Balance is subtle. You may not always recognize it when it’s there, but you’ll feel its absence. Imbalance clanks loudly, like an out-of-tune piano. When you’re out of balance, you know it.
Keeping your balance is about bringing your life into alignment, recognizing when some part of your life doesn’t reflect your priorities, and rearranging your life in a way that creates an ongoing sense of peace and fulfillment. When you’re able to make time for what matters in your life, your life will be in balance, you will feel fulfilled, and you won't be plagued with a nagging sensation that some aspect of life is passing you by.
When she was in the process of developing the 8 Keys, Bobbi first tried to bring balance to her life by devoting equal time and energy to all the important aspects of her life. She made a pie chart and devoted equal slices to work, home, family, friends, charitable organizations, and so forth, and then set about trying to apportion her time to match the chart.
No matter how hard she tried to do strike a balance in her life that way, no matter how close she got to that goal, something still felt out of whack. Eventually, she came to realize that it wasn’t a matter of rigidly devoting equal time to everything that mattered to her, but of prioritizing and then finding the allotment of time and energy that created the greatest sense of fulfillment. That’s balance.
How to know when you’re out of balance
You may not recognize that you’re out of balance unless you take the time to step back and look at your life from a different perspective. And remember that the times we’re most in need of a new perspective are often the times when it’s most difficult to take that break.
1. Take a time-out—especially when you think you can least afford it
Sometimes when you’re going too fast in one or more areas of your life, you just have to call a time-out, just like a basketball coach whose team seems out of sync. Take your time out to do something fun and relaxing and make sure it’s a long enough break that it gives you a chance to evaluate how you’re spending your time and if aspects of your life might be out of balance.
Balance has little to do with the amount of time you spend in any area of your life. When you’re focused and excited about something, you can spend mega hours at it and feel fulfilled and balanced. So, don’t worry about whether you’re spending too much time at something. The secret to balance lies not in an allotment of time but in an awareness of your priorities.
2. Check your priorities daily
When you’re driving a car, you’re making constant small corrections. You’re steering, adjusting the gas, and braking almost automatically, but you are paying attention and constantly making corrections to accommodate changing situations along your route. Keeping your life in balance requires the same kind of ongoing correction process. Balance is about choices. When you’re keeping yourself in balance you’re making a thousand internal corrections each day. You’re constantly asking yourself, What do I value? What’s really important? Does this activity really need to be done now?
No matter how good you become at it, you won’t be in balance every moment of every day. Tune in to the signals your mind, spirit, and body send that warn you when you’re slipping out of balance. Compensate sooner rather than later. The quicker you realign yourself, the smaller the “wobble” you’ll have to correct.
The balance that comes from fulfillment acts as a lens. It clears the view to your dream. Balance and the big picture are self-reinforcing energies. Stay balanced, and you’ll be able to keep the big picture in sight—stay focused on the big picture, and you’ll see clearly the choices that will keep your balance.
Fulfillment creates balance—and balance creates fulfillment. Make choices that are consistent with what makes you feel fulfilled.
Use this Balance affirmation often: I give to the things that are important to me the amount of time that creates the greatest sense of fulfillment.
"The antidote to exhaustion is wholeheartedness. It's the things you do
half-heartedly that really wear you out." —David Whyte
SuperCamp summer programs fill up fast. Parents, go to http://www.SuperCamp.com now to learn about enrolling your son or daughter while space remains. Age-specific programs are available for students in grades 4-12 and incoming college freshmen. At the website, you also can get a free eBook that gives you an inside look at what works with teens from a world leader in youth achievement, SuperCamp co-founder Bobbi DePorter.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Where To Take Your Kids When They Say "Mom I'm Bored!"
"Mom, I'm bored!"
How many times have you heard your ten year old exclaim this on a Saturday afternoon, only to follow you around while you tried to do laundry or iron or cook dinner? Children may expect you to be their entertainment committee, but there are things you can do to keep them entertained for hours without eating up your entire Saturday or Sunday afternoon in the process.
The roller rink is a perfect place to take your kids on a Saturday. Almost every town has a local rink, and it is good for many ages. For about $10.00 a child, skate rental money if they don't own their own, and perhaps some extra money for snacks or lunch, you can usually bet on a good three or four hours of entertainment. Many of the skating rinks have video games and a café as well, so if your child is done with skating he or she can still be entertained. If your child is young, a chaperone will obviously be needed, and perhaps you and a neighbor can take turns and alternate weekends. If he or she is of the age where "dropping off" is appropriate, there is usually an open skate complete with the music of the moment that your kids will surely enjoy. Of course, he or she is getting exercise along with having fun so you can rest easy that this is a positive activity all around.
Another good place, depending on the season and your locale, is your local commercial dairy farm. True, it is a bit different, but it can be packed full of things to do for children of all ages. For the little ones, a simple tour of the farm can be full of wonder and amazement. Usually all you need to do is ask and those in charge will be more than happy to show your little one around. He or she can see the cows up close and even pet them in their stalls. They may get a tour of the production facility if they are a bit older and it can hold their interest, which can take a good amount of time. Often there will be other animals on the farm, and both younger and older kids will enjoy visiting with the barnyard animals. If your child's boredom occurs during the warm spring or summer months, it may be strawberry season and you may be lucky enough to have a farm that honors the age-old tradition of strawberry picking! If it's October and pumpkin season, perhaps you will be able to find your next perfect jack-o-lantern with your kids or even take a haunted hayride if it's close enough to Halloween. A hayride might just be possible no matter the season, so it can't hurt to ask! Of course, before you leave the farm don't forget to get a taste of their sure-to-be-homemade ice cream. The tour guide will probably give a cone to your little ones for free. Again, this Saturday or Sunday treat will be an educational source of entertainment for your children and cost you almost nothing.
Almost every parent falls back on the movies or the mall, if their child is old enough, but what about getting them outside for some fresh air instead? Surely you can open your back door and let the kids play in the yard any day of the week, but if you physically take them to a playground it will be something different. Bring the dog, if you have one, and get the most ‘bang for your buck' - your dog will be worn out by the end of your visit, and the kids can help with the wearing-out process! Both your children and your pet will have the benefit of a new play yard, and there will likely be other children to join in the fun, or even other dogs. There is bound to be a swing set, sliding board and jungle gym. Even if you own these and have them in your own backyard, they will likely be different than your own and hence more entertaining for your youngsters. Bring a ball or your dog's favorite toy to play fetch, bring some snacks for the kids, and get out there and play with them yourself! If you are fortunate to share the park with a pond or lake, you may need to bring some bread and you can feed the ducks there as well. Just getting outdoors to the park really can be a good hour's worth of fun at the least.
Any of the above recommendations will force your child to stop the "I'm bored!" exclamation. By the time you get home from any one of the three, your little boy or girl will most likely be ready for a nap and you may too - so look forward to your relaxation.
How many times have you heard your ten year old exclaim this on a Saturday afternoon, only to follow you around while you tried to do laundry or iron or cook dinner? Children may expect you to be their entertainment committee, but there are things you can do to keep them entertained for hours without eating up your entire Saturday or Sunday afternoon in the process.
The roller rink is a perfect place to take your kids on a Saturday. Almost every town has a local rink, and it is good for many ages. For about $10.00 a child, skate rental money if they don't own their own, and perhaps some extra money for snacks or lunch, you can usually bet on a good three or four hours of entertainment. Many of the skating rinks have video games and a café as well, so if your child is done with skating he or she can still be entertained. If your child is young, a chaperone will obviously be needed, and perhaps you and a neighbor can take turns and alternate weekends. If he or she is of the age where "dropping off" is appropriate, there is usually an open skate complete with the music of the moment that your kids will surely enjoy. Of course, he or she is getting exercise along with having fun so you can rest easy that this is a positive activity all around.
Another good place, depending on the season and your locale, is your local commercial dairy farm. True, it is a bit different, but it can be packed full of things to do for children of all ages. For the little ones, a simple tour of the farm can be full of wonder and amazement. Usually all you need to do is ask and those in charge will be more than happy to show your little one around. He or she can see the cows up close and even pet them in their stalls. They may get a tour of the production facility if they are a bit older and it can hold their interest, which can take a good amount of time. Often there will be other animals on the farm, and both younger and older kids will enjoy visiting with the barnyard animals. If your child's boredom occurs during the warm spring or summer months, it may be strawberry season and you may be lucky enough to have a farm that honors the age-old tradition of strawberry picking! If it's October and pumpkin season, perhaps you will be able to find your next perfect jack-o-lantern with your kids or even take a haunted hayride if it's close enough to Halloween. A hayride might just be possible no matter the season, so it can't hurt to ask! Of course, before you leave the farm don't forget to get a taste of their sure-to-be-homemade ice cream. The tour guide will probably give a cone to your little ones for free. Again, this Saturday or Sunday treat will be an educational source of entertainment for your children and cost you almost nothing.
Almost every parent falls back on the movies or the mall, if their child is old enough, but what about getting them outside for some fresh air instead? Surely you can open your back door and let the kids play in the yard any day of the week, but if you physically take them to a playground it will be something different. Bring the dog, if you have one, and get the most ‘bang for your buck' - your dog will be worn out by the end of your visit, and the kids can help with the wearing-out process! Both your children and your pet will have the benefit of a new play yard, and there will likely be other children to join in the fun, or even other dogs. There is bound to be a swing set, sliding board and jungle gym. Even if you own these and have them in your own backyard, they will likely be different than your own and hence more entertaining for your youngsters. Bring a ball or your dog's favorite toy to play fetch, bring some snacks for the kids, and get out there and play with them yourself! If you are fortunate to share the park with a pond or lake, you may need to bring some bread and you can feed the ducks there as well. Just getting outdoors to the park really can be a good hour's worth of fun at the least.
Any of the above recommendations will force your child to stop the "I'm bored!" exclamation. By the time you get home from any one of the three, your little boy or girl will most likely be ready for a nap and you may too - so look forward to your relaxation.
Thursday, April 17, 2008
The Terrible Twos - How to Stay Sane When Your Child Is Not
If you have a little one who is anywhere between the ages of two and four, some days can seem like they last forty eight hours instead of twenty four. If you are the proud mother of a little girl this age, the only word in her vocabulary may be "No." If you try and counter her "no's" with "yes's", she may emit sounds so shrill your ears will bleed. If you are the proud mom of a little boy, his new habits may include coloring the dog with your lipstick or banging your favorite, and delicate, table with his toy trucks until they crack. How do you deal with this? One way of course is to leave the country and never return. There are, however, more reasonable ways in which to deal with your children's testing periods.
While you may not be able to move to China, you can remove yourself from the situation and help calm your frayed nerves. If your child is being rebellious or misbehaving, sometimes just stepping out of the room for a few moments, counting to ten, and taking some deep, calming breaths can make all the difference when you re-enter the room to deal with your misbehaving child. He or she may then start to associate your leaving the room with "Uh oh, Mommy is mad" rather than associate your screaming and yelling with being angry, which can only be detrimental. This may help calm the child enough that upon your return, he or she will be more receptive to your teaching him what behavior you didn't like. Since you will be calmer as well, the discipline will likely be more effective.
For a more long-term approach, taking some time for yourself and "getting away from it all" is a good bet to restore your sanity. Take a good block of time on a Saturday or Sunday, 2 hours, maybe, and mark this time in your calendar in pen, not pencil, as a recurring activity. Keep a standing appointment with yourself, and honor it as you would any other. Think you are too busy on a weekend to do this, between your toddler's play dates, errands, and your other family obligations? You will feel much more productive the rest of the weekend allowing yourself this little ‘refresher', rather than trying to cram some time in on a random Tuesday or other weeknight. Moreover, you will feel much more able to cope with your child's behavior. For this special "adult time-out" time, you can book a massage or a facial at your favorite spa. Take a couple of hours to go window shopping or visit a museum, by yourself or with a friend. Take in a movie with a couple of girlfriends. If your husband is willing to fly solo on a Saturday night, you can even steal away to your favorite local pub with the girls once in a while and let off some steam. If you don't have extra funds for these activities once a week, you can sneak yourself off to the tub with a good book, a bubble bath and a nice glass of wine and come out feeling ready to face the world and your terrible-two-year-old.
Getting involved with groups that highlight child behavior may also help you cope with issues that seem to rear their ugly heads again and again. Your child may be going through a developmental phase that has you frustrated to say the least. It can be comforting to have a support network or group of friends with similarly-aged children. Many of these groups are "Mommy and Me"-type groups that can be found in your community directory. If no such local groups exist in your area, you can always consult some educational reading material on child behavior and speak with your doctor if it is getting more and more difficult to control. Sometimes, just a different approach can give great results. For example, if you are used to taking away a privilege or a toy when your child acts up, perhaps you need another tactic. Calmly tell him or her why Mommy is upset with the actual behavior, and explain and speak as if he were older than his actual age. Your own child may surprise you!
On the flip side, sometimes just not reacting at all can be the best approach. Just like you are getting to know what makes your child tick, he is getting to know what makes you tick as well and will quickly learn how to push your buttons and command your attention. Rather than play into this, ignore his pushy requests and the negative behavior may just quietly go away.
The Terrible Twos are challenging, to say the least, but using some of these approaches can help you keep the loving bond between you and your child without you losing your mind in the process.
While you may not be able to move to China, you can remove yourself from the situation and help calm your frayed nerves. If your child is being rebellious or misbehaving, sometimes just stepping out of the room for a few moments, counting to ten, and taking some deep, calming breaths can make all the difference when you re-enter the room to deal with your misbehaving child. He or she may then start to associate your leaving the room with "Uh oh, Mommy is mad" rather than associate your screaming and yelling with being angry, which can only be detrimental. This may help calm the child enough that upon your return, he or she will be more receptive to your teaching him what behavior you didn't like. Since you will be calmer as well, the discipline will likely be more effective.
For a more long-term approach, taking some time for yourself and "getting away from it all" is a good bet to restore your sanity. Take a good block of time on a Saturday or Sunday, 2 hours, maybe, and mark this time in your calendar in pen, not pencil, as a recurring activity. Keep a standing appointment with yourself, and honor it as you would any other. Think you are too busy on a weekend to do this, between your toddler's play dates, errands, and your other family obligations? You will feel much more productive the rest of the weekend allowing yourself this little ‘refresher', rather than trying to cram some time in on a random Tuesday or other weeknight. Moreover, you will feel much more able to cope with your child's behavior. For this special "adult time-out" time, you can book a massage or a facial at your favorite spa. Take a couple of hours to go window shopping or visit a museum, by yourself or with a friend. Take in a movie with a couple of girlfriends. If your husband is willing to fly solo on a Saturday night, you can even steal away to your favorite local pub with the girls once in a while and let off some steam. If you don't have extra funds for these activities once a week, you can sneak yourself off to the tub with a good book, a bubble bath and a nice glass of wine and come out feeling ready to face the world and your terrible-two-year-old.
Getting involved with groups that highlight child behavior may also help you cope with issues that seem to rear their ugly heads again and again. Your child may be going through a developmental phase that has you frustrated to say the least. It can be comforting to have a support network or group of friends with similarly-aged children. Many of these groups are "Mommy and Me"-type groups that can be found in your community directory. If no such local groups exist in your area, you can always consult some educational reading material on child behavior and speak with your doctor if it is getting more and more difficult to control. Sometimes, just a different approach can give great results. For example, if you are used to taking away a privilege or a toy when your child acts up, perhaps you need another tactic. Calmly tell him or her why Mommy is upset with the actual behavior, and explain and speak as if he were older than his actual age. Your own child may surprise you!
On the flip side, sometimes just not reacting at all can be the best approach. Just like you are getting to know what makes your child tick, he is getting to know what makes you tick as well and will quickly learn how to push your buttons and command your attention. Rather than play into this, ignore his pushy requests and the negative behavior may just quietly go away.
The Terrible Twos are challenging, to say the least, but using some of these approaches can help you keep the loving bond between you and your child without you losing your mind in the process.
Saturday, April 5, 2008
How To Educate Your Child Using Webkinz
You think Webkinz is a waste of time, money and energy. Well, you are wrong. Webkinz is fun and can also be educational but only and only if the parents are keenly involved with the child. If you want to teach your child some values through this fun medium then you must supervise them when they are online at Webkinz World.
If you are still wondering how a Webkinz can educate your child well then just keep on reading and you shall soon find out how. You receive $2000 in kinzcash as soon as you adopt your Webkinz. The child will probably go crazy seeing all the amazingly cool and funky things available at Webkinz World and will surely go on a spending spree unless of course you are there as a parent to guide your child. If your child does not spend the money the right way, he or she will be left with hardly any money to buy food for their pets. Also it sometimes happens that the child gets so engrossed in the other games that they invariably neglect their pet. If this forgetful nature of your child prevails then their Webkinz pet will fall ill and the joy in playing with them will vanish.
Participation of the parents is highly necessary therefore to keep their child on the right track. It will teach them the right values and will also inculcate in them a sense of responsibility. You can if you want to make this fun experience into an educational lesson in Webkinz World. Stay with your child to supervise them, however, do not dictate to them. It is not tedious at all and after a few days you will find yourself enjoying Webkinz as much as your child is. This can truly become a family game.
Let your child learn the value of money and to use it wisely. Your child will soon understand the need to save maybe for that clothing which will be perfect for his or her pet. Your child will begin to have a sense of responsibility making sure that the pet is safely tucked into bed before going offline.
For More information, please visit: WebkinzCheats and Webkinz Codes
Providing security for the pet becomes the child's priority then. He or she will soon learn the ropes and will understand the necessity to feed, play and love their Webkinz. As a parent you must regulate the amount of time your child spends online. Time management is extremely vital.
If you see that you child does not like the concept of having to take the responsibility of a pet then you should discontinue this playtime if not then let them enjoy it to the fullest.
Just a little amount of time of your life can mould your child's life. It will teach your child to be safe, to take care of others and of course to handle money. Webkinz World can make playtime into educational time. And it is you who can make this into an amazing educational experience for your child with their Webkinz.
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